Family law

Why Should You Share Good News With Your Co-Parent, Not Just Problems?

Quick answer

Most co-parenting messages are about logistics and problems. Sending the good news too, like a strong report card or a first lost tooth, is one of the simplest ways to show a court and your co-parent that you support your child's relationship with both parents.

Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal · Last updated June 2026

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Share the good news too: report cards, lost teeth, and goals scored

Why good news belongs in your co-parenting communication

Co-parenting apps and text threads tend to fill up with schedule changes, missed exchanges, and disagreements. When that is all a judge or evaluator sees, it paints a picture of two people who only talk when something is wrong. A steady stream of ordinary updates, such as a photo from the soccer game or a note that the dentist visit went fine, shows that you keep the other parent informed about your child's life even when nothing is at stake.

Courts in every state look at whether each parent supports the child's relationship with the other parent. The exact factors vary by state, so check your state's guide, but the general idea is consistent: a parent who shares information freely looks cooperative, and a parent who withholds it can look like they are shutting the other parent out.

What to share and how to keep it simple

Think of the things a parent would naturally want to know. Report cards and teacher comments. A lost tooth, a new skill, a goal scored, a part in the school play. Doctor and dentist visits, even routine ones. Milestones like learning to ride a bike. You do not need long messages. One or two sentences and a photo is plenty.

Keep the tone neutral and factual. Share the news without commentary about the other parent, without comparisons to your own parenting time, and without turning it into a request. The goal is to inform, not to score points. If a reply comes back cold or critical, you do not need to respond in kind. Your record of consistent, friendly updates stands on its own.

Use the same channel you use for everything else

If you communicate through a co-parenting app or a single text thread, send good news there too. Mixing channels makes it harder to show a complete picture later. Many parents use a co-parenting app because it keeps a dated, unalterable record that can be shared with a mediator, evaluator, or court. If your court order already names a required communication method, follow it for all messages, including the happy ones.

When you share something positive, you are also quietly documenting that you kept the other parent in the loop. Months later, if the other parent claims you never tell them anything about school or activities, your own messages answer that for you without any argument.

A habit, not a strategy

Sharing good news works best when it is routine. A parent who sends one cheerful update right before a hearing looks different from a parent who has done it every week for a year. Pick a rhythm you can keep, such as a short note after each school event or at the end of each parenting block, and stick to it.

Remember that your child benefits most. Kids notice when both parents know about the goal they scored or the book they finished. That shared knowledge tells them their two homes are connected rather than divided. This is general information, not legal advice. How communication is weighed in custody decisions varies by state, so review your state's guide and talk to a licensed attorney if you have questions about your situation.

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Where to check this

Forms, deadlines, and local rules change. Verify anything on this page against the official self-help resources for your state before you rely on it.

This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.