Family law
The Other Parent's Declaration Says Things That Aren't True. Now What?
Quick answer
Reading a sworn statement full of things that did not happen is upsetting, but it is also one of the most common situations in family court. The good news is there is a standard, effective way to respond.
Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal · Last updated June 2026
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Their declaration says things that aren't true. Now what?
First, know that judges expect conflicting stories
Family court judges read competing declarations every day. Two parents describing the same events very differently is normal, and a false or exaggerated statement does not automatically win just because it was filed first. The judge is not required to believe anything simply because it is written down.
Declarations are typically signed under penalty of perjury, which means the person is swearing the contents are true. Courts take that seriously, and a parent who is caught stating things that are provably false can damage their own credibility for the rest of the case. Your job is not to panic. Your job is to give the judge a clear, believable, documented version of the facts.
Respond in writing, not just out loud at the hearing
In most courts, the main way to answer a declaration is to file your own responsive declaration before the hearing. Judges often read the paperwork before they ever see the parents, so if the only version of events in the file is the other parent's, that is the version the judge walks in with. Waiting to explain everything verbally at the hearing is usually a mistake, because hearing time is short and judges may limit what they will listen to that is not already in the papers.
Every state has its own forms, filing steps, and deadlines for responding, and those deadlines can be short. Check your state's rules or your state-specific guide as soon as you are served, and calendar the response deadline immediately. If you miss the window to respond in writing, you may be stuck relying only on what you can say in the courtroom.
How to correct the record effectively
Address the false statements point by point, calmly and specifically. For each claim that is untrue, state what actually happened, when, and how you know. Attach proof wherever you have it, such as text messages, emails, school or medical records, photos with dates, or receipts. A short factual paragraph with an exhibit behind it is far more powerful than a page of outrage with nothing attached.
Resist the urge to attack the other parent's character or answer every minor exaggeration. Judges tend to tune out declarations that read as angry or personal, and responding to everything can bury your strongest points. Pick the statements that actually matter to what the judge is deciding, correct those clearly, and let smaller distortions go. Never respond with false or exaggerated statements of your own, because your credibility is one of your most valuable assets in the case.
What not to do while the case is pending
Do not confront the other parent by text or phone in anger about the declaration. Those messages often end up as exhibits in the next round of filings. Keep your communications brief, civil, and about the children, and assume anything you write could be read by the judge.
Do not ignore the filing or assume the judge will see through it on their own, and do not miss your court date. If the situation involves serious allegations, or you are unsure what a fair response looks like, this is a good moment to get help preparing your paperwork or to consult a lawyer in your state. Onbello provides document preparation and general information, not legal advice, and the details of how to respond vary by state, so check your state's guide for the specific forms and timing that apply to you.
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Where to check this
Forms, deadlines, and local rules change. Verify anything on this page against the official self-help resources for your state before you rely on it.
This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.