Family law

What Should You Do When the Judge Asks a Question You Don't Know the Answer To?

Quick answer

Parents who represent themselves often worry about getting a question from the judge they can't answer. The honest move is usually the best one: say you don't know, then offer what you do know or how you can find out.

Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal · Last updated June 2026

Watch this explained

The judge asked something you don't know: say so

Why honesty beats guessing

Judges hear from many people who represent themselves, and they generally expect that you won't have every answer ready. What hurts your credibility is guessing, making up a number, or giving an answer that later turns out to be wrong. A wrong answer can cast doubt on everything else you said.

Saying "I don't know" is not a sign of weakness. It shows the court you are being careful and truthful, which matters a great deal in cases about children, where the judge is weighing who is reliable.

How to say it well

Keep it short and respectful. For example: "Your Honor, I don't know the exact date, but I believe it was in the spring. I can check my records." This tells the judge what you are sure of, what you are not sure of, and that you are willing to follow up.

If you misunderstood the question, it is fine to ask the judge to repeat or rephrase it. If the answer is in a document you brought, you can ask permission to look at it before answering. Stay calm, speak to the judge rather than the other parent, and avoid filling silence with guesses.

What to do if the answer matters

Sometimes the missing information is important, like income figures, a schedule detail, or a date of an event. You can let the court know you are able to provide it later. Whether the judge will allow you to submit information after the hearing, and how, varies by court and by state, so follow the judge's instructions exactly.

Write down any question you could not answer. After the hearing, gather that information so you are ready if the issue comes up again at a later hearing or in a written filing.

Preparing so it happens less often

Before your hearing, review your own filings and the other parent's filings, since the judge's questions often come straight from them. Bring organized copies of key documents, such as income records, a proposed parenting schedule, and a short timeline of important events.

Hearing procedures, what you may bring, and how evidence is handled all vary by state and sometimes by county. Check your state's guide and your local court's self-help resources before your court date. This page is general information, not legal advice, and Onbello is a document preparation service, not a law firm.

Tools and resources

Where to check this

Forms, deadlines, and local rules change. Verify anything on this page against the official self-help resources for your state before you rely on it.

This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.