Family law
How Do I Track Shared Kid Expenses and Request Reimbursement From My Co-Parent?
Quick answer
When parents share the costs of raising a child, small expenses add up fast and disagreements over who owes what are common. A simple, consistent tracking system protects you, keeps requests fair, and creates a clear record if you ever need to ask a court for help.
Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal · Last updated June 2026
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How to track shared kid expenses and reimbursement requests
Why Tracking Shared Expenses Matters
Many custody and child support orders require parents to split certain costs for their child on top of any base support amount. These are often called add-on, extraordinary, or shared expenses, and they can include things like medical bills, childcare, school costs, and activities. Exactly which expenses must be shared, and in what proportion, depends on your court order and your state's rules, so read your order carefully.
Courts generally expect parents to be able to show what was spent, when, and what was already paid or reimbursed. If you ever need to enforce your order or ask a judge to resolve a dispute, a clean record of expenses and requests is far more persuasive than memory or scattered texts. Good records also reduce day-to-day conflict, because both parents can see the same numbers.
How to Set Up a Simple Tracking System
You do not need special software, although co-parenting apps with built-in expense features can help. A shared spreadsheet or even a dedicated notebook works if you are consistent. For each expense, record the date, what it was for, which child it was for, the total amount, who paid it, and each parent's share under your order. Attach or save a copy of the receipt, invoice, or insurance statement for every entry.
Keep everything in one place and update it as expenses happen rather than reconstructing months later. Save digital copies of receipts, since paper fades and gets lost. If your order says expenses are split by a percentage, note that percentage in your tracker so each entry shows the exact amount the other parent owes. Also log every payment or reimbursement you receive, so your running balance stays accurate and you never ask for money twice.
How to Make a Reimbursement Request
Send requests in writing, through a method you can save and print later, such as email or a co-parenting app. A good request states the expense, the date, the total amount, a copy of the receipt, the other parent's share, and how they can pay you. Keep the tone neutral and factual. Courts read these messages later, so write as if a judge will see them.
Many court orders set a time limit for sending proof of an expense and a time limit for the other parent to pay after receiving it. These timelines vary by state and by the wording of your specific order, so check both. Sending requests promptly and on a regular schedule, for example once a month, keeps amounts small, avoids surprise lump sums, and shows the court you followed the process in good faith.
What to Do if the Other Parent Will Not Pay
First, confirm the expense is actually covered by your order, since parents are usually not required to reimburse costs the order does not address. If it is covered, send a polite written follow-up that restates the amount owed and includes the earlier request and receipt. Sometimes a clear paper trail alone resolves the issue.
If the other parent still refuses, most states have a court process to enforce the expense-sharing terms of an order, and some have processes through their child support agency. The names of these procedures, the forms, and the deadlines vary by state, so check your state's guide before filing. Bring your tracker, receipts, and copies of your written requests, since that record is exactly what the court will want to see. This is general information, not legal advice, and Onbello is not a law firm.
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Where to check this
Forms, deadlines, and local rules change. Verify anything on this page against the official self-help resources for your state before you rely on it.
This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.