Family law
Do I Have to Remind My Co-Parent About Their Custody Time and Holidays?
Quick answer
A parenting plan usually spells out each parent's time, including rotating holidays by even and odd years. Whether you have to actively remind the other parent of that time depends on what your order says, but there are practical ways to handle it without starting a fight.
Last updated June 2026
Are you required to remind the other parent?
In most custody orders, each parent is responsible for knowing and exercising their own parenting time. Unless your order specifically says you must send reminders or calendar invites, you generally are not obligated to prompt the other parent to take the time the schedule already gives them.
That said, courts tend to favor parents who act in good faith and keep the other parent informed. Sharing a joint calendar, as you already do, is usually more than enough to show you are not withholding information or hiding the schedule.
Should you just send the order or let it go?
Sending a neutral copy or screenshot of the custody agreement is often the cleanest move. It keeps the conversation about the document rather than about either parent's memory, which lowers the emotional temperature. A short line like, 'Here is what our order says about the holiday rotation for even and odd years,' lets the schedule speak for itself.
Whether to let a missed holiday slide is a personal call, not a legal one. Some parents allow flexibility to keep the peace; others stick closely to the order so the pattern stays consistent for the kids. Neither choice is wrong, but be consistent so it does not look like you are selectively enforcing the schedule.
Communicating without escalating conflict
Keep messages short, factual, and free of blame. Stick to dates, times, and what the order says, and avoid commentary about the other parent's habits or memory. Business-like, 'gray rock' communication gives an angry co-parent very little to react to.
Put everything in writing through text, email, or a co-parenting app so there is a clear record of what was offered and when. If the other parent regularly misses their time or disputes the schedule, that written record becomes useful evidence if you ever need to ask the court to clarify or adjust the order.
Map out the holiday rotation in advance
A lot of holiday confusion comes from the even-year and odd-year language being hard to track in your head. Building the full year onto a shared calendar, including every holiday and which parent has it, removes the guesswork for both of you.
If your co-parent later claims they did not know about a holiday, a calendar that already reflects the order protects you and shows you communicated the schedule clearly.
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This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.