California
My child refuses to go to the other parent’s house. What happens now?
Quick answer
In California, the custody order stays in effect until it is changed, by an updated order the parents agree to or by a judge; under the sections we read, a child’s wishes count when a judge makes or changes an order. When either parent asks to change custody, the judge must consider the wishes of a child mature enough to form an intelligent preference, can order counseling for the family, and can order a parent who thwarted the other parent’s custody or visitation time to pay that parent’s reasonable expenses. Other states have their own rules.
Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal · Last updated October 2026
What the law says
Family Code section 3042(a): “If a child is of sufficient age and capacity to reason so as to form an intelligent preference as to custody or visitation, the court shall consider, and give due weight to, the wishes of the child in making an order granting or modifying custody or visitation.” A child 14 or older who wants to address the court must be allowed to unless the court finds that is not in the child’s best interest (section 3042(c)), and section 3042(i) says the section “does not require the child to express to the court a preference.”
Section 3028(a): “The court may order financial compensation for periods when a parent fails to assume the caretaker responsibility or when a parent has been thwarted by the other parent when attempting to exercise custody or visitation rights contemplated by a custody or visitation order.” This is money for reasonable expenses, not make-up time, and the request must allege at least $100 in expenses or at least three occurrences in the six months before filing (section 3028(c)).
Under section 3190(a), the court can order the parents and the child to attend counseling for up to one year if it finds the dispute, including one between a parent and the child, poses a substantial danger to the child’s best interest and counseling is in the child’s best interest. Contempt under Code of Civil Procedure section 1218 is for violating an order; the self-help page says contempt cases “are for cases where the parent is intentionally violating the order.”
What to do next
Keep a dated record of each missed exchange, what was said, and what each parent did. If the schedule no longer works, either parent can file a Request for Order to change it. The self-help page on custody orders says: “If things change significantly, get a new court order that has the changes in it.” It also says: “You can ask to change an order if the other parent has blocked your access to your child.”
Last checked against the sources above on October 8, 2026.
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This page is general legal information, not legal advice, and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Laws and local rules vary and change. For advice about your situation, consult a licensed family-law attorney in your state.
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