Family Court Playbook: New York Edition · Step 12 of 13
Custody and Visitation Mediation in New York
How the New York courts describe custody mediation, what stays confidential, and how an agreement becomes an order
Researched by Dan Martin, Legal Researcher · Published by Onbello Legal
A choice, not a requirement
The New York court system's CourtHelp pages say that when you come to court about custody or visitation, you may have a choice: have your petition heard by a judge or court attorney-referee, or have your case referred to mediation. CourtHelp describes mediation as voluntary and confidential.
Ask the clerk or the judge what mediation options your county's Family Court offers.
How a session works
- A mediation session is between you, the other parent and the mediator.
- The mediator is trained to help parents work out what is best for their family. The mediator does not give advice and does not write the parenting plan for you; the parents decide.
- If you agree on a parenting plan, it becomes a court order if the judge approves it.
What stays confidential
CourtHelp says that what you discuss in mediation stays between you, the other parent and the mediator, with an important exception: allegations of child abuse or threats are not confidential.
Not every case belongs in mediation
If you reach agreement without mediation
Parents can also agree on their own. CourtHelp explains that if both sides agree on custody, no custody hearing is needed and the judge will enter a custody order on consent.
Preparing for mediation
- Bring your calendar, school schedules and work schedules so you can talk about real dates.
- Think through the parts of a schedule people usually need to settle: weekdays, weekends, holidays, summer, exchanges and how you will communicate.
- Keep the focus on the child. A judge reviews any agreement before it becomes an order.
Common questions
Is mediation required in New York custody cases?
CourtHelp describes custody and visitation mediation as voluntary and confidential, though allegations of child abuse or threats are not confidential. The mediator decides whether a case is appropriate for mediation. If the parents agree on a parenting plan, it becomes a court order if the judge approves it.
Sources
Statutes, court rules and forms change. Check the current version before you rely on anything on this page.
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